An Unexpected Visitor
by TheDerpyKatsuChan
Summary: One cold winter night, after some horrible events occur in Kyle Broflovski's life, he shows up on Craig Tucker's doorstep, looking like a wreck and being completely broken. Kyle's now torn apart life desperately needs fixing, but can the seemingly indifferent Craig help him at all? CRYLE, one sided K2. Mentions of rape.
1. Arrival

Kyle's POV:

Why did I come back here again? Oh right... To give Kenny a surprise visit... Turns out that he moved away. Kenny left and moved away from South Park, along with the rest of his family. A lot of people have done that over the past few years. Cartman, Stan, Wendy, Token, Bebe, Butters and now Kenny. They're all gone. Most people I know, have left this place. I did too. My family moved away, five years ago, when I was 14. I was the first of us all to go, and soon more people seemed to follow.

But I came back, today, to see Kenny. I showed up at his old house, but he moved without even mentioning anything. Well, I guess he didn't have to tell me... I've neglected our friendship for a long time now after all. So why would he tell me anything really?

I came back. I missed him so much and I wanted to see him, so I came back. I care about Kenny, more than I care about anything else. But I still neglect him and push him away. There must be something completely wrong with me. I'm such a horrible friend, and I can't seem to make the one person I love stay. Because I still neglect him. I'm so sorry Kenny. I feel sick to my stomach. I never deserved him anyway, so it's alright if he doesn't stay. But that doesn't stop me from loving him. He can never know about it though, because we can only ever be friends. Even if I love him, it doesn't matter. I'm lucky if I can even call him my friend anymore...

* * *

"Maybe it's my own fault... It probably is... I brought this upon myself, didn't I?" I think as I shakily walk down the dark streets of South Park. My entire body is aching, and it's cold, so cold. My bare feet sink into the snow on the ground, and I can't feel my toes at all anymore. I look down, and they've become a terrifying shade of purple that I've never seen on skin before.

I'm only wearing a white long sleeved shirt, that has several stains and holes in it, I don't want to think about what the stains are from, and a pair of dark green jeans. My green hat, along with all my other clothes and my shoes, are nowhere I can reach anymore. So I can now feel the ice cold breeze blowing through my red curls, and the frosty air hitting my scalp.

It's a late winter night, and the stars are shining brightly in the sky above me. I'm constantly shivering, as I walk along the streets, every step feeling even more painful than the last. I'm on the verge of crying, but I hold it in as best as I can. I'll try and be strong. I don't want those sick bastards to have the pleasure of actually breaking me, no. I'm not gonna let this tear me apart now. I refuse.

I continue to walk silently, although I sniffle a little on occasions, while I'm desperately looking for a house, any house, that could be the home of someone I know. I need somewhere safe. Somewhere warm. Or I'll fall apart completely, or maybe I'll freeze to death... Whichever comes first...

A feeling of relief hits me, as I find a house that I recognize. I walk up to the front door of the home, and I'm about to ring the doorbell. But fear and paranoia strikes me for a moment. What if it's the same? What if he has left to? What if this happens again?

But then I realize, that if it does happen again, it still doesn't matter. I've already become so messed up and torn apart tonight, so there's no way that it can possibly feel much worse. There is a chance, although small, that I can be alright again, if the person I know opens the door. I'm willing to take that chance. Please open the door...

I ring the doorbell.

* * *

Craig's POV:

It's around 2.30 in the morning when the doorbell wakes me up.

What the hell? Who comes to visit at this time of the night? I hope it's important... It better not be Clyde paying me a late night visit while being drunk off his ass again... I'm getting really fucking sick of that...

I rub my eyes as I trudge down the stairs. I walk towards the front door and I let out a yawn as I open it. I'm surprised at what I see in front of me.

"Kyle?" I say with my usual, indifferent sounding voice, though I raise my eyebrows a little.

In front of me stands Kyle Broflovski, and to be frank he looks like complete shit. He's wearing way too little clothes for this weather and on top of that they're ripped and dirty, and I think he smells a bit funny as well. His skin is turning a sickly purple shade and he's shivering violently. Our gazes meet and his emerald eyes are puffy, bloodshot, and teary. There's bags under them too and he looks tired. Really tired. He doesn't have any shoes on either... But the most odd thing is that he isn't wearing his hat, that guy goes nowhere without that thing. I wonder what happened to him... Kyle moved away a long time ago and I never expected him to come back here, let alone to visit me, especially in this state... What the hell is going on?

"Craig..." Kyle says in a weak voice. It sounds hoarse, as if he's been screaming too much and has started to lose his voice.

"Did you want anything?" I ask, sounding a bit more cold than I intend to.

"Does it look like I want anything?" He asks me shakily, sounding as if he's about to start sobbing loudly soon. Kyle looks at me with his sad eyes again, and he seems so pitiful in this state. I kind of feel sorry for him.

I take a step to the side and make a small hand gesture to indicate that I let him into the house. Kyle understands what I mean and he walks inside slowly. He has a little bit of a limp and it seems like walking is causing him pain...

* * *

I silently walk into the kitchen and he follows me.

"Want some coffee?" I ask him in my monotone voice. The shaking redhead nods desperately. I let out another yawn before I start to make coffee for the two of us. Kyle carefully sits down on a chair by the kitchen table.

"Did I wake you up?" He asks, his voice so quiet that I can barely make out what he's saying.

"Yeah, you did." I tell him. What the fuck is this? Why is this messed up kid that is Kyle Broflovski sitting here at my kitchen table in the middle of the night? It's weird. If I didn't know better I'd think I'm having some weird, fucked up dream. But this feels way too fucking real to just be some shitty dream.

"Sorry..." Kyle tells me, and it sounds as if he feels guilty.

"Whatever dude... It's alright" I say with a small sigh. "Want a blanket?" I don't have to wait for him to answer, cause he is shivering violently and I know that he wants a damn blanket but he just doesn't wanna seem pushy or demanding. I can see him nod in the corner of my eye, but I'm already on my way to the living room to get one when he does so.

The blanket will definitely need to be washed later but who gives a shit about that. Kyle is a fucking train wreck and I need to help him. It's not like I've ever been close to the guy or anything but... He came here and he seems so fucking fragile and clearly needs some help so whatever. I'll do him a favor tonight. He'll just owe me one later...

* * *

I grab a thick blanket from the living room couch and then I go back to the kitchen. I throw the blanket at the Jew and he catches it with his shaky hands.

"Thanks a lot..." He says weakly and gives me a small smile, before he wraps the blanket around himself. I just shrug it off. It's silent for a while before he decides to speak again. "Are your parents at home?"

"No... They're out of town for the weekend, and my sister is at a friends house... So it's just you and me here..." I say in my once again monotone voice. It's always like that. I don't mean to seem cold or harsh, but I do a lot of the time because my voice simply sound that way. A lot of people think I'm some big asshole without emotions just because of my voice. Maybe I kinda am an asshole though, I don't know...

"I see..." Kyle says quietly. The coffee is done by now so I poor two mugs of the black liquid.

"Is just plain, black coffee alright?" I ask him. "Do you want any milk or something in it?" Kyle shakes his head.

"Like this is just fine..." He says. I put his mug right in front of him before I sit down at the opposite side of the table and take a sip from my own mug. Kyle grabs the mug he's been given with both his hands. It probably burns on his ice cold, shaking hands but he doesn't seem to care and he quickly takes a big gulp of the hot liquid.

I reach for the lighter and the pack of cigarettes laying on the middle of the table.

"Do you mind?" I ask Kyle while taking a cigarette out of the packet. He shakes his head. I light the cigarette and then inhale the sweet taste of the smoke. The sweet fucking taste of slowly developing lung cancer... Yay.

"I'm sorry for intruding like this..." Kyle says and takes another gulp from his mug. I just shrug, and breath out the smoke I've inhaled.

"Whatever dude... Rough night?" I ask, making an effort to not sound too harsh or cold. He's vulnerable right now... It's best to try and not sound like a cynical bastard.

"Worst night of my life..." He tells me sadly. I breath in some more of the smoke.

"I don't want to push it... Just tell me what happened if you want to... Or like... whenever you're ready..." I answer.

"Thanks Craig... But I can tell you now I guess..." Kyle says, seeming a bit uncomfortable.

"If you're sure that you want to then go ahead..." Our eyes meet for a moment, and he almost looks scared. Does he think that I'll judge him or something? What kind of mess did this guy get himself into now?

* * *

"I... Um... I... I-I got r-raped.." He stutters and tears start to spill from his eyes. I stare at him in disbelief for a moment.

"What did you just say?"

"I-I was going to give Kenny a surprise visit... B-but it t-turns out he moved away and... And I... I-I knocked on the door and I f-find out t-that three big, pretty muscular guys live there now... The guy who opened t-the door... He... He dragged me i-inside and I-I was too weak to do anything and then... And then... I-I tried screaming but no one heard me..." Kyle tells me all of this while he's sobbing. I have no idea what the hell to do or say. The cigarette butt ends up in the ashtray and I stand up.

It makes sense. The smell, and that it hurts for him to walk. The fact that he's dressed the way he is... He must've rushed out of there without being able to retrieve most of his things.

Sick bastards. Sick fucking bastards. I'll shove something up their asses and we'll see if they like it. And with something I mean something that'll really hurt, like a cactus or a piranha. Or maybe a grenade or something... I don't know... I feel completely furious. Those sick bastards. Out of all the horrible things you could do... Why rape?

Kyle looks at me and he's completely terrified. Wait... Does he think that I'm mad at him? Fuck. I scared him. This is no good.

I walk over to Kyle and I simply place my hand on his shoulder.

"Don't look at me like that... It'll be alright." I tell him, and I hope it will be. I don't like seeing him like this. "I'll be sure to kick their asses... I'll make them regret that they were ever even born!" Kyle shakes his head at that.

"Revenge is not what I want... I want to forget... I want to go back..." He says and drains his mug of coffee with one last gulp. Kyle is stronger than I initially thought. He's been through so much, and he handles it a lot better than I would... He doesn't even seem to hate the people who hurt him. He doesn't want revenge. All he wants is to be happy again. I'm not sure if I can be of much help at all though...

I drink the rest of my coffee quickly, and I place both of the mugs in the sink, not giving a shit about washing up right now.

"Let's go upstairs... You should shower and then I'll get you some clean clothes... You must feel kinda gross..." I say, and Kyle just nods, before he stands up and he goes upstairs with me.

* * *

We walk into my bedroom and I point towards the door to my bathroom.

"You can use whatever you want from in there Kyle... Just take a shower and stuff..." I tell him. He nods and then he starts to walk towards the door. When he turns the door handle I speak again. "Look dude... I have no idea what to do but... Just tell me if you need anything..."

"Thank you Craig... You're a really nice person..." Kyle says before escaping into the bathroom and locking the door behind himself.

I fall back onto my bed. Holy shit... It's hard to believe... It's hard to understand... Poor Kyle... I feel awful and I don't think I've ever been this mad before. But I can't do shit, damn it!

I end up punching the wall behind me in frustration. Damn it!

* * *

Kyle's POV:

I sit on the floor in the shower, and the falling water droplets hit me. It feels nice. Craig is nice. But I'm still dirty. Yet Craig doesn't seem to blame me or think that I'm disgusting. Craig isn't looking down on me.

But no matter how many showers I take, I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this filthy. It was even my first time... My virginity.

Most people would've laughed at me, since I was 19 and still a virgin. I wanted to save it for someone I really loved, as cheesy as it may sound. But that ain't happening now.

I cry while sitting here in the shower. It hurts. Both mentally and physically. I feel so filthy and wrong, and my body aches in strange places. Cum and blood is leaking out of my sore asshole... And it's the most disgusting thing I've ever felt. My stomach twist uncomfortably and I'm feeling nauseous.

There is no going back. There is nothing I can do, except for continuing forward. It's too late to change anything.

* * *

Going here was a really stupid decision. I didn't get to see Kenny, and I got raped cause he moved away without telling me. I wonder though... Is it Kenny's fault or is it really my own fault that I ended up in this situation? It's probably my own. I neglected one of my best friends so much that I didn't even find out that he moved away... What a lousy friend I am... But I... I didn't deserve this... No one deserves something like this...

* * *

Tears continue to spill from my eyes. I wash my body with lots and lots of soap. It feels a little bit better, and it's somewhat satisfying. But I can feel something crawl under my skin, and that doesn't go away, no matter how much I scrub myself with soap. I was filthy when I got into the shower, and I'm still filthy when I get out of it too, although slightly less.

I grab a towel and dry myself off as best as I can. I then wrap it around my hips and just when I'm about to leave the room I take a look at my own face in the bathroom mirror. It doesn't look like me. My skin seems too pale, and my green eyes look so empty and bloodshot. I look like I'm ill or something... All over my body there's marks... Bruises, hickeys, scratches... The proofs of that I've been violated.

I don't at all like looking at my reflection, so I turn around and I open the door. I enter Craig's bedroom again and I close the door behind me.

* * *

I notice that there's music playing in the background. It sounds familiar. So familiar. It's that band that Stan got really into about a year ago. Mindless Self Indulgence, I think that's what they're called. The band is alright, and I understand why Craig would like it... Sounds like his type of music.

 _Everyone knows_

 _What you know_

 _All except me_

I look around the room briefly and I find Craig laying on his bed, reading some sort of Marvel comic book. Huh, didn't know Craig liked that kind of stuff...

 _That ain't right_

 _Let me know_

First now do I properly notice what Craig looks like nowadays. He's grown pretty tall, quite a bit taller than me, and he's got some muscles, even though he's still what is classified as "thin". Puberty was nice to Craig. He looks good. No... he looks REALLY good. Even now, with his jet black hair being a complete mess and wearing his pajamas, which consists of a pair of worn out black sweatpants and a t-shirt with a cute kitty on it, he still looks damn good. Yes, you heard it right, Craig fucking Tucker is wearing a kitty shirt...

 _When I get the respect that I'm due if only for tonight_

 _Watch me mix it_

 _In my basement_

Craig's eyes leave the pages of his comic book and he looks towards me. His pale blue eyes meet mine.

"Ehm... Did you have some clothes I could borrow...?" I ask quietly. Craig just nods and points towards a small pile of clothes that is laying on a chair in the corner of the room.

 _With no makeup_

 _I feel naked now_

 _Ha Ha Ha_

"I picked some stuff out..." He says casually. "I hope they fit..." Craig's eyes then go back to the comic book, and I awkwardly start to get dressed. He didn't say a thing about the marks on my body, and I'm thankful for that. It's not something that I'd like to talk about...

The clothes I'm given is a generic black t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants... I never would've thought that Craig was the type of guy that likes sweatpants but apparently he is.

 _I've never really lost the fight_

 _But I've never really won it_

 _Ha Ha Ha_

"You should try and get some sleep..." Craig says when I'm done dressing. I look over at him and he puts down the comic book on the bedside table.

"Where should I sleep then...?" I ask him awkwardly.

 _And die my darling_

 _Ha Ha Ha_

 _P.S Welcome to my life_

Craig reaches out and turns off his stereo, just as the song ends.

"Where do people usually sleep?" Craig asks sarcastically and then he jumps off his bed. He makes a hand gesture towards it and walks over to me. "Don't worry... I'll borrow my parents room for the night, so you just relax and sleep in here..." He explains.

His hand reaches up to my head and ruffles my wet, curly hair a little before he starts to walk off. This gesture felt nice, and kinda comforting.

"Thank you Craig..." I tell him.

"No problem... Good night..." He answers as he leaves the room.

"Good night..." I say and then the bedroom door closes in between us.

* * *

I feel completely exhausted as I crawl into Craig's bed. I let out a deep sigh and I bury my face in Craig's pillow. The pillow smells just like Craig too. It smells a bit like ashes but it also smells kinda sweet, like his shampoo I guess. Overall I think it's a nice smell.

Is it really okay for me to be here? Is it really okay, after I've become so filthy? Is it really okay to let Craig help me like this? I'm soiled and dirty after all. The crawling feeling underneath my skin is back and it itches strangely. I guess it's just my brain imagining weird things.

I remove my face from the pillow so I can breath properly. I curl up into a little ball and I close my eyes. It's not very easy to fall asleep. It's hard to relax when you feel so horrible about yourself and your mind wanders and thinks about horrible events. My head spins and it's really difficult to breath. I can't calm down properly.

But when I finally do fall asleep, it's not a nice sleep. I'm having a nightmare. And a dark, vivid and scary one at that. I wake up in the morning, sweaty and completely terrified, but I don't remember anything at all from the dream. Nothing whatsoever.


	2. Visiting

Kyle's POV:

It's 6.30 when I wake up. I can't fall back asleep then. There is no way. I'm scared out of my mind and I'm on edge. It doesn't matter cause I still refuse to get out of bed. I shouldn't roam around the house when Craig isn't awake... It feels wrong...

I'm pretty sure Craig likes to sleep in on the weekends, and I don't want to stop him from doing so. And he woke up in the middle of the night and helped me out... So he needs to get some sleep.

I don't move an inch for another hour, until the doorbell rings.

What the heck? Who comes to visit someone at 7.30 on a Saturday morning?

I continue to lay there for a moment. But when the doorbell rings the second time I decide to go open the door. Craig is still asleep and if this fucking person doesn't stop ringing the doorbell he will surely wake up...

* * *

I walk downstairs and let out a small yawn before I open the door.

"CRAIG! I have some cookie dough and some booze! Have some fun with me baby!" The person yells, before noticing that Craig wasn't the one to open the door. What the fuck...? What the actual fuck?!

It takes me a while to actually place the person. He's a relatively tall brunette with big brown eyes. He's pretty normal weight, although a little chubby, just a little. And he has a big grin on his face. Judging by how he's acting he's probably drunk off his ass already. At 7.30 in the morning? Well... It explains his weird behavior at least... He looks really fucking familiar though...

He finally seems to notice that I'm not Craig.

"KYYYYLE!" He yells happily and hugs me close. Yeah... I've definitely met this person before.

"Ehm..." I don't really know what to say so I just awkwardly hug him back. When all the hugging is over he looks at me with somewhat sad eyes.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He says, with an expression on his face that resembles that of a kicked puppy. I don't say anything.

The brunette then starts sobbing loudly and openly. That's when it finally clicks in my head. Clyde. It's Clyde Donovan.

"No, no no! Of course I remember you Clyde!" I exclaim. He looks at me a little suspiciously and sniffles.

"Really?" He asks.

"Really. I remember. Just took a while to recognize you... It's been a while." I tell him with a smile.

"Yeah... You should've come back sooner!" He answers happily.

"Hehe... Sorry about that..." I say.

"It's alright... Wait... Why are you here? At Craig's house? Wearing his clothes?" Damn it. I was hoping he'd be too drunk to notice that... But apparently not.

"Well... It's kinda complicated..." I tell him.

"You're fucking Craig?! Spent the night, eh? I always knew that you were gay but... I didn't think that Craig was your type really..."

"WHAT?!" I practically scream out. "There's nothing between me and Craig... Look... Last night was pretty crap for me and Craig just helped me out... Don't get any strange ideas." I explain.

"Sure... If you say so..." Clyde answers, before giving me a suggestive wink. Great. He doesn't believe me.

* * *

"I was trying to sleep." I can hear Craig say from behind me. I practically jump a meter into the air. "Why the fuck did you have to yell so loudly Clyde?"

"CRAIG!" Clyde shouts happily, and skips through the door, past me, and jumps into Craig's arms.

"Get off me." Craig says calmly, but it has a harsh tone to it.

"But Craig...!" Clyde says while cuddling closer to the taller guy. What the fuck is this? What kind of relationship do these guys have even?

Craig lets out a sigh. Two seconds later he's grabbed Clyde by the collar and forcefully shoved him right into the wall. I just stare at the sight in front of me. Wow... That must've kinda hurt...

Clyde sniffles a little and pouts.

"Craig, you're such a meanie..."

"Go home Clyde. Come back sometime when you aren't drunk off your ass." Craig tells him in his monotone voice.

"I brought some cookie dough... Please let me stay..." Clyde begs.

"Fine..." Craig says with a sigh. "Just try and behave... And no more drinking, you asshat!" Clyde nods happily and skips into the living room.

I look at Craig with raised eyebrows. I'm confused as hell. He looks back at me with a blank expression.

"Clyde sucks at controlling his drinking... And it doesn't really help that he becomes the biggest retard known to man when he does drink..." Craig simply states.

"Oh..." Is all that I answer.

"I'm gonna go and make some coffee... Please babysit Clyde for a moment? My parents would kill me if something happened to the living room..." I simply nod at Craig and I start walking towards the living room.

* * *

I find Clyde laying on the couch, shoving huge amounts of cookie dough into his mouth. I smile a little at how silly the boy looks. He reminds me a little of Kenny... Kenny used to love cookie dough when we were kids. I don't know if he still does or not though...

"SO GOOD!" Clyde practically screams out. "I think I'm in heaven..." I sit down on the floor in front of Clyde and I just watch him and his silly behavior for a while. After less than 5 minutes he somehow falls asleep. He's snoring loudly and there's cookie dough all over his face.

* * *

The strange events involving Clyde seems to have calmed me down a little bit... But I'm still completely on edge, and I can't relax. Not after yesterday. It's like I can't let my guard down, not for a second. Like I'm prepared to run away at any given time if something were to occur.

I'm gonna break. Sooner or later I'm gonna break. I won't be able to keep up this facade that I'm hiding behind. I feel awful. I don't want to do anything. I just want to go home, and sit locked up in my room alone while listening to Roger Rabbit by Sleeping with Sirens. I always listen to that song when I sulk... I don't know why or how, but doing that just became a habit. Stan teases me for it sometimes... But he's a big hypocrite really... I know he does basically the exact same thing, but instead he listens to I'm All Out of Love by Air Supply. That song is kinda lame... Wait. Not kinda lame... Really lame. When Stan sulks it's always really bad. Like that time when we were 9 and Wendy broke up with him. He sulked for fucking forever and then he turned goth to cope with the sadness... Stan can be such a drama queen sometimes...

I don't care. I don't care about how fucking much I love Kenny, or how fucking much my entire being hurts, or how fucking horrible last night was. I don't care about anything. I just want to go home. I don't think I've ever felt this bad in my entire life. I'm all alone. No one can help me. I can't depend on anyone, cause they might leave too. Without a word, like Kenny did.

I lost something important last night. I lost something that everyone needs to have. I did not just get raped and lost my virginity because of that, but I also lost the right to my own body. It makes me feel sick. I've been violated. I've been soiled. There's no point anymore. I don't care. Nothing really matters. I don't matter. I'm filthy and disgusting and wrong. It doesn't matter at all anymore, what happens to me, because I've already become ruined.

* * *

Craig soon walks into the room with 3 cups of coffee in his hands.

"Damn it. That little motherfucker fell asleep! I even made coffee for him too..." Craig says with a sigh.

I sit there silently for a moment, not being sure of what I should say. It still crawls uncomfortably under my skin. Filthy. So filthy. Craig hands me a cup of coffee and then he breaks the silence.

"You should probably call someone back home... You should probably tell them that you didn't end up at Kenny's place..." He says.

"My phone got left behind last night..." I simply answer, taking a sip of coffee.

"If you know the number then you can borrow mine..." Craig tells me, while taking his phone out of his pocket. I nod at him.

"I know a number I could call..." I tell him. Craig hands me the phone, before reaching for his pack of cigarettes. I swear to god, as much as he smokes his lungs will probably collapse before he turns 60 if he doesn't change his habits soon.

* * *

I leave the room so I can make the call in private. I only have one phone number memorized in my head. Luckily it's one of the most important numbers anyway. It's the one person who I know is always there for me. I dial the number and then I wait.

"Yeah, this is Stan..." I hear him say suspiciously. He clearly does not recognize this number. I haven't been this happy, from just hearing Stan's voice, in a long while. I can always count on Stan, so I feel safe while talking to him. If there is a single person in this world that I can count on, that I can depend on, then it's Stan Marsh.

"Stan... Some stuff happened..." I tell him, sounding sadder than I planned to.

"Kyle?! Is that you?" Stan asks, sounding very surprised. "This isn't your number! Whose phone is this?"

"Yeah it's me... It's Craig's phone..." I tell him.

"Craig? What are you doing with Craig? Weren't you gonna visit Kenny?" Stan asks, seeming like he's utterly confused.

"Like I said some stuff happened..." I say.

"What stuff?" Stan is now even more confused. I let out a sigh.

"I really don't want to talk about this in detail right now Stan. But turns out that Kenny moved away from South Park, and instead some really buff guys live there now... Long story short I ended up spending the night at Craig's house cause I had nowhere else to go." I explain.

"Wait! You didn't know that Kenny doesn't live in South Park anymore?! Fuck! I thought you knew about his new adress and stuff!" Stan almost yells. So Kenny told Stan but not me... That makes my heart ache... I guess it's only natural... Stan and Kenny are still close friends, but I'm not really a part of it. Of course he'd tell Stan. And it's not like he had to tell me anyway...

"No I didn't..." I answer.

"And buff guys? Did they beat you up or something?! Stole all your stuff?!" Stan sounds like he's panicking.

"Yes. But they also did something worse." I tell him.

"Worse? What did they do?" Stan sounds so worried when he says that. I'm glad that I can always count on Stan. But he still gets too worked up over things sometimes...

"I don't wanna talk about it now... Let's just say that it left me with some emotional scars that might never heal..." I tell him. I can't tell Stan about the rape. Not right now. He'd flip the fuck out and he'd be worried sick about me. I'll tell him when I get home, because now would be really bad timing. He would lose way too much sleep because of this... And I don't think it's right to tell him over the phone either. Even though he'll still worry a lot, it's better to leave out that part for now. I'll just tell him in person when I get home.

"Oh okay... Are you alright now? Are you safe?" Stan asks.

"I'm in a safe place, yes. Don't worry about it. Craig is actually being really nice." I explain.

"If you say so..." Stan answers. "When will you come back home?"

* * *

Stan left South Park 6 months after me. Turned out that he actually moved into my new neighborhood in Boulder then. What a damn good coincidence. I was pretty lucky at that point... The first 6 months after I moved were pretty shit. There weren't much people that were interested in befriending me, so I was kind of a loner for a while. Until Stan showed up. We've been inseparable since then. Not too long ago we actually both moved away from home and we now share an apartment together. Though Wendy is still Stan's on and off girlfriend so she spends the night there on occasions. But I just wish the walls in our apartment were a bit thicker so I wouldn't have to hear then when they... You know...

I don't have anything against Wendy, but she should make up her fucking mind and stop playing with Stan's feeling. She just comes and goes as she pleases, making Stan listen to that damn Air Supply song over and over again. And what about me? Well... I'm like the most single person in the country and I'm in love with Kenny McCormick. But nothing is gonna happen with that so...

* * *

"Not sure..." I say. "I don't have any money so I can't do shit right now..."

"Fuck... Sorry dude, I don't have any money to spare either... Wendy found my credit card and bought an expensive jacket for all my extra money... Don't know if I even have enough money for lunch today..." Stan explains.

"What a bitch... Anyway... I'll figure something out. But when I do come back, be prepared for sulking." I say.

"I expected that... Look Kyle. I'm so sorry that I can't do a single fuck right now. I'm such a crappy friend..." Stan says in a voice that sounds really guilty.

"Don't worry about it. And if you actually were a crappy friend then I would've ditched you years ago." I say. "Anyway, I think that I gotta go now. Take care."

"Yeah, you too... Please come home soon Kyle. You seem like you're feeling like shit and I just... I just wanna help but I'm so fucking powerless..."

"Don't worry about it Stan. It'll be alright..." Will it really? Will it ever be alright again? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it...

"Okay. Promise?"

"Yeah I promise." I'm not sure if I can actually keep that promise... But I don't want Stan to worry. Even if I feel the shittiest that I've ever felt.

"Good. Okay, bye." He then says.

"Yeah, bye." I answer, and then I hang up. I let out a sigh. My skin still crawls. Disgusting. Filthy. Wrong. I can almost feel tears forming in my eyes. I refuse to cry now. I hold it back and enter the living room again. I silently return Craig's phone to him.

* * *

"Thanks... How did it go?" Craig asks, and takes a sip from his now almost empty cup of coffee.

"Well... Stan knows that I'm here, he knows that I feel like crap, and he also knows that I have no fucking idea how I'm supposed to get home... He's gonna be worried as fuck, even though he doesn't know the entire story." I explain.

"Stan, eh?" Craig simply asks and inhales some smoke from his cigarette.

"Yeah... We live together... He's my roommate." I tell him.

"I see... And that part about not being able to get back home?" Craig asks.

"I don't have my wallet anymore. I don't have the money to get back home. I have nothing really..." I sound sadder than I wanted to. Fuck.

"Oh... You don't have to worry... I'll get you back home." Craig tells me.

"What?" I ask, feeling confused. Craig grins a little at me.

"I'll pay for your bus ticket so you can go home... Boulder, right?" Craig asks casually.

"What!? You'd actually do that?!" I almost yell. Craig is amazing. He's a lot kinder than people give him credit for. I don't understand why people call him an asshole... He's actually pretty sweet underneath his monotone voice and blank expression. Maybe people just don't make an effort to get to know him properly?

* * *

"Of course moron... It's the least I can do for you..." He tells me.

"Craig... You've already done enough... But thanks a lot. I swear that I'll pay you back the money." I say.

"Very well... I'll get you on the next bus to Boulder so you can go home..." Craig says. "It's probably for the best if you leave this place as fast as possible..."

"Yeah... You're right..." South Park doesn't feel safe anymore. It isn't safe anymore. Those people live here. They could find me again soon. I need to get out. Craig takes one last gulp of his coffee before the mug is empty, and then another cigarette ends up in the ashtray.

"One problem though. The next bus going to Boulder doesn't get here until tomorrow... Will that be alright?" He asks. I nod.

"I'll be fine..." I tell him. It's a lie. I won't be fine. I probably won't ever be fine. I'll just go insane if I keep this up. I pretend that I'm okay in front of Craig. I don't want his pity. I don't want him to look down on me is all. I don't want him to see how weak I actually am.

* * *

Craig's POV:

Kyle lied.

"I'll be fine." Bullshit. He's a complete mess on the inside. He is just trying to hide it from me. Idiot. You don't have to do that. I already know. And I'm here. I'll support you.

What's gotten into me? Why am I so desperate to help Kyle all of a sudden? Well, of course I'd help him out. He got fucking raped. It's the least that I can do. Even as just a distant friend kinda... But there's something more. I think I might like him. What the fuck Craig... What the actual fuck Craig?!

I already know that I'm interested in both guys and girls, but Kyle? I never thought that I'd get interested in him. It's kinda weird. I don't even know why I like him. His company is just pleasant I guess.

It's not like this is anything serious though. Not like I'm head over heels in love or any of that bullshit. It's just a slight interest.

* * *

"You sure?" I ask.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it." He says with a smile that isn't real. His green eyes still look completely empty. What the hell do I do? I can't just sit here and do nothing. He's ruined. He needs help. He needs support and comfort. One problem though... Most of the time Craig Tucker is about as comforting as a rock.

I stand up and I place a hand on Kyle's shoulder. He lets out a sigh and seems somewhat calmer. I remove the hand and place it on his head instead. I ruffle his soft red curls. It's nice. I like his hair. It's fun to play with. His green hat sucked ass, covering up something this pretty. Kyle's eyebrows are a bit raised and he seems kinda surprised by this gesture. I pull my hand away.

"Let's try and wake Clyde up. He needs to get somewhat sober so I can kick him out of the house without having to worry about him going and doing something crazy..." I explain. Kyle nods. "This one time he almost drowned himself at Starks Pond after I didn't open the door for him while he was really drunk. That's why I can't just leave him be. He gets too reckless and stupid when he drinks."

* * *

Kyle's POV:

Craig's definition of waking Clyde up was rolling him off the couch so he fell face first onto the floor...

"OUCH!" Clyde yells.

"Don't sleep on my couch, retard. You're going to get cookie dough all over the place!" Craig yells.

"Sorry..." Clyde says sleepily as he rubs his eyes.

"Please dude... Just go home and go to bed Clyde..." Craig says. He's almost begging him, but not quiet. Clyde lets out a yawn, before he stands up and stretches a little.

"You're right Craig... Just gonna go and throw up first..." Clyde says and then he takes off towards the bathroom.

"You never learn Clyde! Stop eating so much cookie dough and then you wouldn't need to throw up, you idiot!" Craig yells after him. Clyde shrugs. Craig roughly throws a pillow towards the brunette, but he dodges it so the pillow just hits the wall...

"It's just too good... I can't resist it..." Is the last thing Clyde says, before he retreats to the bathroom.

* * *

Clyde leaves the house shortly afterwards. Craig then proceeds to cook breakfast. Pancakes. The most delicious pancakes that I've ever eaten. It could just be cause the only think I've gotten in my stomach since lunch yesterday is one of the rapists disgusting semen and two cups of coffee so I'm hungry as fuck... But the pancakes are really great. I didn't know that Craig could cook. It's interesting. I didn't expect him to be the cooking type. It's kinda nice, finding out more stuff about Craig. I was never very close to him before but he's pretty cool. I like his company. It's comfortable.

We spend the rest of the day just chilling and playing random video games together. It's a lot of fun actually, even though I still have this terrible feeling inside. Right now I don't think I'm ever gonna be fine again. No matter how much I act like I am.

Sometime in the afternoon Craig gets a call from his sister. Apparently she's staying another night at her friends house. So I won't see her around. The next bus to Boulder will get to the bus stop at 8.15 tomorrow morning. I'm pretty sure that she won't be back that early...

* * *

Before we know it it's nighttime again and I lay back in Craig's bed once more. I'm even more tired than I was last night. Yet it still takes a long time before I fall asleep. I lay there for a solid 2 1/2 hours before I actually start to slumber. But it's not a nice sleep tonight either. It's the same horrible dream as last night. But when I wake up in the morning, once again sweaty and panicking, I don't remember it now either. Only a brief detail, that I didn't remember yesterday. Pale blue eyes, staring at me, with such an empty gaze. Everything else around them is black. The eyes look just like Craig's eyes, except these eyes look completely dead. Craig's eyes are full of life...

Will sleep ever feel nice again? I wonder. Right now it doesn't seem like it ever will...


	3. Leaving

Kyle's POV:

I get out of bed early in the morning and I go downstairs. I'm completely exhausted and I'm falling apart on the inside. My skin is crawling again, and I still feel so disgusting. I walk into the kitchen, where I find Craig smoking a cigarette while making sandwiches...

"Yo..." He says casually and he takes a bite from one of the sandwiches that he just made.

"Good morning." I answer. Craig takes another bite, and then talks while still having food in his mouth.

"Want one?" He asks in his usual monotone voice. I nod. Craig gives me a sandwich and we end up sitting at the kitchen table, opposite of each other.

"How are you feeling?" Craig asks me as we eat.

"I'm alright..." I answer, and I smile slightly. I lied again, and the smile feels sickly fake. But I think that I'm an okay actor so it should be alright.

"Liar." He says harshly. Okay... Maybe I'm not a very good actor... "You're breaking apart, and you know it."

"It's that obvious, huh?" I ask sadly as I stare down at my half eaten sandwich.

"Not really... I'm just observant." Craig tells me. "Please don't lie to me Kyle. I just want to be there if you need me."

"Thank you Craig. I really appreciate it. But I don't think that you can do much of anything right now..." I answer.

"I thought so..." Craig says, and lights another cigarette, right after he finishes the previous one. There's a long pause before I speak again.

"Dude... Your lungs are gonna get fucked up real bad if you continue that..." I say, pointing at his cigarette.

"I'm well aware..." He answers. "But it's an addiction... And it's too good to stop." Craig sounds like he's so content with it... It seems a little strange to me.

"It could kill you... You could get lung cancer and die prematurely Craig..." I tell him sadly.

"I already know that." He tells me, and I can almost see the beginning of a smile appear on his lips, but it disappears quickly. Craig is in a good mood today, huh... "I'm okay with not living until I'm really old... It's alright if I die prematurely, as long as I'm satisfied with what I've done in life."

* * *

My heart beats a little faster now, like it sometimes does when I'm around Kenny. I wonder why. Seeing Craig like this is so odd though. He is actually so full of emotions. Most people never notice. They call him cold, but Craig is actually a very expressive person, if you look really close. His body language is much more relaxed when he is comfortable, and you can pretty clearly tell how he feels by looking closely at his eyes. I don't know why I look at Craig while being so observant, or why my heart beats so strangely now. I wonder... Am I about to fall for Craig Tucker?

* * *

"I see..." Is all that I say to him.

"I like smoking. It's my thing I guess... Something I just can't give up...It's a part of who I am... I know it sounds lame as fuck but..." He explains.

"It's not really lame..." I answer. "I think I understand, Craig..." I smile now, genuinely for once. Craig's company is really nice. I'll miss him after I leave today... Even though I don't know what to do with myself. Even if I feel disgusting and wrong. Even if I hate myself. Even if I am such a nuisance to him. I still feel at ease with Craig. He is kind and he's helped me so much. It's really comfortable, being here next to him. I'll miss this feeling...

After we've finished eating our sandwiches Craig stands up.

"Come on... Let's go upstairs... I'll pick an outfit for you today... When you leave you can keep it." He says.

"Thanks a lot. " I say and give him a soft smile.

"No problem Kyle..." He answers, and I can see it again. That hint of a smile on Craig's lips... It looks really pretty. My heart is beating kinda funny again now...

* * *

I'm given an outfit that consists of a pair of black, skinny jeans, that are too long for me, and a navy blue hoodie that is a little too baggy. The clothes are comfortable really... They smell like cigarette smoke and Craig's family's fancy detergent. I kinda like the smell.

We both leave the house soon, since Craig decided that he wanted to walk with me to the bus stop to see me off.

* * *

Craig's POV:

I think I have really fallen for Kyle Broflovski. Just like that. It happened really fucking fast and I don't even know what's going on. But I'm really into that bastard. His smile is beautiful, and he is a bright person, even when he is breaking apart like this. Even when he is silently suffering, from all of this pain.

I don't know how to help him. I want to. I really do, but... There's nothing I can do. He's experienced all this mental trauma and there's no way that he can cope with it properly. But all I can fucking do is watch him suffer. For fucks sake Craig, he was raped, fucking raped... How can you expect to ever make things better?!

We soon arrive at the bus stop. It sucks to see him leave, since I like him. Fuck, I like him. He's been great company these past few days too... He's nice and sweet and talks about things that are interesting. But he has to leave. It's inevitable. It's actually a good thing that he's going back to Boulder. To a place that's safe, to a place that's home. A place that isn't a constant reminder of what happened. A place where the horrible predators are so far away from him.

* * *

Kyle and I stand next to each other at the bus stop. I check the time. The bus should be here in around 5-10 minutes.

On a whim I decide to tell him something.

"Kyle..." I say, as I move to stand in front of him. He looks up at me with his big, emerald eyes, that are filled with so much pain behind the facade. "I have something I kinda want to talk about..."

"What is it...?" He asks with raised eyebrows.

"I don't think that I could ever fix you... After what happened... Even if I were to try my hardest, I'm not sure if I could ever make you heal..." I say. Kyle still looks at me, and his eyes are starting to water a little.

"Craig..." He says. "You don't have to fix me. I'm not sure if I can ever be fixed either... I'm probably too messed up already... But I... I'm very thankful... You're trying... And you were there when I had nowhere to go." He smiles through his now teary eyes.

"Kyle... You can come to me anytime. I'm here for you." I feel so conflicted. It hurts so much to see Kyle like this, but I'm happy that he appreciates what I tried to do for him. I grab his hand in mine, just cause I fucking want to. Kyle stares at our connected hands, and our now intertwined fingers. Kyle's hand is kinda small, but it's really warm, and it fits nicely in mine. I wish I could hold his hand more often... As silly as that is.

* * *

"Craig... I might always be messed up. I might never be what you want but... I... I think that... You're special to me." He says, tears sliding down his face. "And I... I want to be with you... Even if I'm not what you want... How I feel about you isn't really... platonic... I just needed to tell you how I feel." I think my heart just skipped a beat. I stare at Kyle in disbelief for a moment. Kyle is into me? Fuck yes. We have something going here. Awesome...

"I don't give a fuck." I tell him. He raises his eyebrows and looks a little hurt. Oh fuck. He thinks I'm rejecting him now... Oops... "I don't give a fuck about that you're messed up. You're into me... I'm into you... Everyone has some issues... So whatever dude." Kyle then stares at me in disbelief. For the first time in long I can feel a smile spread on my lips, or it's more like a grin. I didn't know that I could actually grin but apparently I can... Kyle looks completely dumbfounded and his mouth is open, so I take the opportunity.

I grab his chin with my free hand, the one not holding his. I move his chin so his face is pointing upwards. I lean down and roughly place my lips on the shorter boy's. It's perfect. This is perfect. His mouth tastes fucking amazing. It's so sweet and I'm really fucking enjoying this. My tongue enters his mouth and explores it hungrily.

It takes a while for Kyle to cope with the chock and he is completely frozen in place at first. But after a while he starts to kiss me back. We eagerly make out, with such passion and force. I don't think I've ever felt this amazing while kissing someone. Never.

There's something about Kyle. I can't quite put my finger on it but... There's something about Kyle that is so damn great. And fuck. He's leaving and I won't be able to do this again for who knows how long. Crap. How do you expect me to cope with that?

I'll miss this damn kid so much... I won't be able to wait to see him again... Kyle Broflovski. Seems like I've got it real bad for you...

* * *

Kyle's POV:

What the fuck is going on!? Craig is into me... Since when? How? Why? I'm a fucking wreck and I'm kinda disgusting... He doesn't care, he said. So he's okay with it? That I'm this fucked up?

His lips against mine are moving so hungrily, but it's sooooooo nice. His mouth tastes like ashes, which was to be expected but... I kinda like it. The kiss is really rough and Craig has all the control. But I kinda like that too... Cause I know that Craig wouldn't hurt me. Even if Craig is being rough, nothing could be as rough as how those horrible people treated me the day before yesterday. It's not comparable at all though... Cause I want to kiss Craig. There is this thing called consent...

When breathing becomes a huge problem I'm forced to pull away. I gasp loudly for air. Craig is pretty out of breath too. I smile at him, and he gives me that small hint of a smile that is so Craig...

"Here." He says, before shoving a piece of paper into my free hand. I stare at it and I'm kinda confused. "Don't lose it. I wrote my number on it."

"Oh..." I say, before going back to gasping for air.

"Look... If we are kind of a thing then you should have my number... Are we a thing?" I nod. We are a thing I guess... I'm not sure what we are but... This sure as hell ain't just friendship. "You can call me any time."

"Thank you." I say, now having caught my breath somewhat.

"No problem... Whenever you have some free time... I could come visit you in Boulder and hang out or something..." Craig tells me. I nod happily.

"Sounds great..." I say with a smile. That's when our moment has to end. The bus rolls past and it stops right in front of us. The doors of the bus open.

* * *

"Fuck... Looks like you gotta leave..." Craig says, and lets go of my hand. He pecks my lips once before I have to walk onto the bus. "Say hi to Stan from me..." Is the last thing Craig tells me before the bus doors close behind me. I nod a little towards him.

Yeah... I can't wait to see Stan again. I really have to tell him about all of this...

I see my own reflection in the bus window when I flop down in a seat, after paying, with Craig's money, for my ticket to Boulder. I'm really fucking flushed and my face practically looks the same color as my hair. My eyes are a little puffy and swollen from the crying earlier and there's a trail of saliva running down from my bottom lip to my chin... How did I not notice the saliva up until now? I feel pretty awkward... What must people think of me?! It doesn't help when I now realize that I've also got a boner. God damn it. Kissing Craig was really hot... I sit there in my seat feeling extremely embarrassed and I try to hide from all the other passengers.

The bus starts rolling and I watch Craig waving me off through the window. I wave back. I wave towards him, until he has disappeared in the distance long ago.

* * *

My mind starts to wander and I just sit there thinking. I know that I loved Kenny but... There's no way that it could ever be real. After all of this I probably won't ever forgive him for not telling me that he moved. It's kinda unfair and it's not really his fault that this happened but... Who doesn't tell their fucking friend that they've known basically forever that they moved away from their fucking hometown?!

It's okay that I didn't get to be with Kenny McCormick. I still love him a lot and it kinda hurts but I mean... I have someone else now I guess? I don't know where this is going with Craig but... It'll be interesting... It's okay if it doesn't work out... But it'd be pretty awesome if it did.

A lot happened these past few days. Both good and bad. I could say that the good outweighed the bad but that would be lying... I was freaking raped and got all of my shit stolen as well... There has to happen A FUCKING LOT of good things for it to be outweighed... But it could've been somewhat worse at least?

I think I'll be alright. Even if I probably won't ever recover completely. I'll still continue going forward. I know there will be days that are worse than others, days where the memories will haunt me more... But that is to be expected. Even if the physical pain has faded, the mental pain may not ever fade. There is nothing I can do about that. All I can do is continue living, and do my best to be as happy as I can.

I can't wait to see Stan. I have a lot to talk to him about... And it'll be fun... We'll sit there sulking and eating ice cream together, and it'll be alright... I've dealt with all of this better than expected, even if it still hurts so much... I think... I think I can continue to deal with this.

* * *

As I sit here on the bus, waiting to get home, I start to sing quietly to myself.

 _Coffee and cigarettes are my only escape,_

 _I got my cup of Joe, my pack of stokes,_

 _And I'm on my way downtown to_

 _Set up shop and sing my cares away._

 _So won't you sing with me,_

 _'Cause it's cold outside, and I'm feeling kinda lonely._

Coffee And Cigarettes by Never Shout Never. Kenny was the one who introduced me to this song once upon a time. It was one of his favorites... I'm not sure if it still is. It's been so long. Maybe I should ask him sometime.

The song kinda reminds me a little of Craig, I don't know why. It's silly I know... But I need to get occupied by something or this bus ride will be boring as fuck... And this is good enough, even though it makes me seem like a giant dork...

 _Friday nights are always the same in this town,_

 _I'm looking up, but I'm feeling kind of down,_

 _So I'll light a cigarette and smoke the night away,_

 _And I'll hope that Saturday will be the day_

 _When everything feels okay._

* * *

Time passes by quickly and soon I'm in Boulder. When I step off the bus Stan is already there, at the bus stop, waiting for me. Craig must've called him and told him that I was going home today. Stan smiles gently when he sees me.

"Are you okay?" He asks, and he seems so worried.

"I've been through a lot of things... And I'm not sure what to do but... I think I'll be kinda alright..." I tell him honestly. Stan places a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"That sounds about right..." Stan says. "Tell me everything and then let's figure out what to do, together." I nod and smile at him. Stan is the best friend I could ever ask for. He's always there for me when I need him.

We then walk off together, towards our home.

* * *

I'll call Craig some day. I already miss him, even though it hasn't been too long. I think I should ask him out... On like a real date. And then I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens after that.

* * *

The End


End file.
